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 ""Oh look, it's like Romeo & Juliet but with more slags.""

- Chas Dingle about Debbie Dingle and Cameron Murray

""You're hardly Bruce Willis are ya, David?. I mean you're barely Bruce Forsythe""

- Alicia Harding ""Y'now it doesn't look good for business. They'll think we're holding our own cremations.""

- Vanessa Woodfield on Paddy Kirk's barbeque at Smithy Cottage next to the Vet's Surgery. [ Refresh for another quote]