Shelley’s Salon merchandise and equipment arrives, much to Alan’s annoyance. He demands it be taken back, but as soon as he's gone, Steph tells the delivery man to take it round the back of The Woolpack. Thinking that the girls have returned they’re purchases, Alan feels slightly guilty and gives them one hundred pounds to go towards their business. Steph, unsurprisingly, thinks this is no more than an insult. Later, Steph convinces Laurel that the goods are the prize for a competition she's won. Naive Laurel believes every word. Meanwhile, Diane is growing increasingly stressed at the liberties those around her are placing her under. It is the final straw, however, when Jack buys her some Menopace hormonal supplements to make her feel better. Diane explodes, informing the punters of The Woolpack that she is not going through the menopause. Jack, feeling that he can’t win, storms out, leaving Diane even more shakey than before. As the evening wears on, Diane hits the bottle harder and harder. Diane, a tad the worse for wear, tells Steph to get her stuff out of her living room, and insults Laurel, calling her a gormless half-wit for falling for Steph's rouse. As last orders are about to be called, drunken Diane declares a lock in to the unsuspecting customers. But it turns out that two of the drinkers at the bar are in fact under cover police. Diane can’t believe her luck, and before she knows it, she and Louise are bundled out of The Woolpack and into a waiting police car for a night to cool off in the cells!


Regular cast

Guest cast



Memorable dialogue

Diane Blackstock: (shouts heard from the Woolpack punters) "I AM NOT HAVING THE MENOPAUSE! I HAD IT FIVE YEARS AGO! HAVE YOU ALL GOT THAT THROUGH THERE?!"

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